Withdrawal is a horrible thing to go through, especially alone. Unfortunately, alone is how you end up if you’re not everything the world wants you to be.
Great thing the human mind is. It can rationalize even the most unforeseen of events, explain the inexplicable and come up with amazing explanations for things it didn’t even dream of in its wildest dreams. And it’s a symbiotic relationship. This allows you to stay sane through the bewildering wilderness you find yourself in when something like this happens.
But last night, as my brain began senselessly rationalizing the past 6 months of my life, I couldn’t help but ask, “Where was all this three months ago?” It answered, “Would you have listened three months ago?”
It was right. I wouldn’t have.
Rationalization # 1: You knew this would happen. This was why your ring tone for her was this song:
“They say that every heavens got a thousand rooms
So take me on that freedom ride
My heart is like a hunters in the silent moon
My nerves just feel electrified
Meet me on the staircase
Outside a darkened room
Light me like a naked flame
The voice of mother nature states
All things must pass
And nothing can remain
You raise me like a building to the very top
Rush me to the end of time
You fill me full of danger
You give me future shock
Then you leave me wasted dying”
She’s a River – Simple Minds
Discovery: I call it ‘Happiness at hundred (kmph)’. It works. You need 5oz of any sedative drug, standard pot will do. Smoke that joint as you accelerate, faster and faster through the night. So disoriented you forget that its Saturday night and start wondering why so many people are out and about at 0200 hours. But as you race through the night, the endorphins rush through your system and you feel like that car’s heading to Mars.
Realization: This is what has become of me. This is what I have become. I wasn’t always like this. And no matter what anyone else might say, it is my fault.
“And I go blind
Wasting my time
The rivers in front of me”
FIN
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