Tuesday, April 02, 2013

"this kind of shoe needs one more cleaning after it dries up..."

I have no idea what this is. Apparently, it was a draft saved from some years ago. Here's all I had. I don't think I should continue.


This combination of words has probably never been uttered, in this order at least, ever before in all of human history. We don't know for sure, but I think its safe to say that this sentence at least merits a post all by itself.
When asked what I understand when I read this line again, it seems to me that the speaker (who is still scrubbing away as we speak) is trying to get rid of something. It may not necessarily be the brown residue on the clothy-type shoe, it could well be a symbolic or a metaphorical spot that she is trying to get out.
It seems more like as if she has done her job by cleaning the shoe but is still not satisfied and feels that the shoe has to go through the procedure for her to feel that there is nothing left from her side...
"Have you ever heard of Macbeth," I ask.
"No, but I would to know why you are referring to the name at this moment," comes the reply.
"Read the play and you will know," I say, trying to close the subject.


What else is there?

It's been a while.
Three years, in fact.
A lot has changed.
Everything remains the same.

I usually don't end up back here unless things have REALLY gone South.

Losing the will to string together coherent sentences was the first indicator. Ever since I broke the arm, the will to write has evaporated from my bones faster than paraffin on a warm day. It's getting bad now.

I think I need to lock myself away for a year with hundreds of books, just to get my brain back.

On the human front, all resistance is futile.
I have resigned to a life of alone-dom.
They're all married now. Every last one of them. Anyone I've ever talked about here. Even the ones who said they'd never do it.

Ever.

In a crowded place, I have never felt more alone.
A vacant space, that I no longer wish to call home.
People may come and people may go
The whiskey stains on the coffee table keep score.

What else is there?

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Sweet November

She...
May be the face I can't forget
The trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay

She...

May be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day

She...
May be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell
She may be the mirror of my dreams
The smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem
Inside her shell

She...
Who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry

She...

May be the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
That I'll remember till the day I die

She...
May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough in ready years

I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is she...

Elvis Costello-- 'She'




If you blink, you may miss her. She'll be right in front of you and yet not there at all. I've met dreamers before but no one more grounded than her. She is elusive yet forthcoming... so much so that one linear narrative would not do her beauty justice. It's an inexplicable feeling, being swept away in a flurry of emotion and silence that emanates from this being. She can make you fall in love, invoke feelings of hatred, anguish, lust, vulnerability and devotion from you, all in one breath.
As you can no doubt tell by now, this is not going to be easy.

Issues. Where do I begin? Intimacy, check! Pretense, check! But try and get her to mince words and she puts you through the grinder. A shrill yet melodic "How dare you?" echoes through the courtyard, drowning out the sharp slapping sound which preceded it. But even think of retaliating and you're doomed forever. This one knows how to dish it out, but there are times where you think, "Just how much can on person take?"
She takes the cake.

Its not the way her ears glow red as she rummages through her brain for the appropriate response. The moment is so fleeting that its gone in the blink of an eye. Arms akimbo, she could look calm and relaxed even if she was sitting on a cactus branch. Not that this would or could ever happen. Luxury is what this one craves and she gets it too. Trusting but not blind. Emotional but not sentimental. Romantic but not hopeless. A walking contradiction if I ever saw one.
Like I said, this is not going to be easy.

She tests people like chemists test acid... very carefully. Every word is weighed, measured and then delivered with such heart-wrenching precision that you are forced to pry your eyes away from that angelic face and obligated to respond within the next few seconds. Missing your cue can be fatal. She catches everything and misses nothing. Her superpower is her clarity, yet she is hardly clear on anything regarding herself.
Objectively subjective when she wants, unreasonably pretty the rest of the time. This one will have you eating your heart out if you're not careful.

Time flies with her. You could start a conversation on Wednesday and be talking well into Friday. If it weren't for the mobile phone companies, one could break the Guinness Record for the Longest Phone Call Ever while talking to her. And you wouldn't even know it. Talking is as easy as breathing. She'll answer any question you throw at her, as long as she controls the conversation. As soon as things start getting too hairy, she'll slap you back to reality with a firm, yet gentle hand. You've been bewitched!

You might begin to think she's perfect, but that's not possible. You might think she's damaged, but that's not true either. She can put you to sleep with her tender touch, or send you packing straight into the next world with the slightest of suggestions. She scares me, and I like that.
This is not going to be easy. But all good things come to those who wait.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Brother of Afghan President Said to Be on C.I.A. Payroll --- NYT

Brother of Afghan President Said to Be on C.I.A. Payroll

NEW YORK TIMES, October 28, 2009

KABUL, Afghanistan — Ahmed Wali Karzai, the brother of the Afghan president and a suspected player in the country’s booming illegal opium trade, gets regular payments from the Central Intelligence Agency, and has for much of the past eight years, according to current and former American officials.
The agency pays Mr. Karzai for a variety of services, including helping to recruit an Afghan paramilitary force that operates at the C.I.A.’s direction in and around the southern city of Kandahar, Mr. Karzai’s home.
The financial ties and close working relationship between the intelligence agency and Mr. Karzai raise significant questions about America’s war strategy, which is currently under review at the White House.
The ties to Mr. Karzai have created deep divisions within the Obama administration. The critics say the ties complicate America’s increasingly tense relationship with President Hamid Karzai, who has struggled to build sustained popularity among Afghans and has long been portrayed by the Taliban as an American puppet. The C.I.A.’s practices also suggest that the United States is not doing everything in its power to stamp out the lucrative Afghan drug trade, a major source of revenue for the Taliban.
More broadly, some American officials argue that the reliance on Ahmed Wali Karzai, the most powerful figure in a large area of southern Afghanistan where the Taliban insurgency is strongest, undermines the American push to develop an effective central government that can maintain law and order and eventually allow the United States to withdraw.
“If we are going to conduct a population-centric strategy in Afghanistan, and we are perceived as backing thugs, then we are just undermining ourselves,” said Maj. Gen. Michael T. Flynn, the senior American military intelligence official in Afghanistan.
Ahmed Wali Karzai said in an interview that he cooperated with American civilian and military officials, but did not engage in the drug trade and did not receive payments from the C.I.A.
The relationship between Mr. Karzai and the C.I.A. is wide ranging, several American officials said. He helps the C.I.A. operate a paramilitary group, the Kandahar Strike Force, that is used for raids against suspected insurgents and terrorists. On at least one occasion, the strike force has been accused of mounting an unauthorized operation against an official of the Afghan government, the officials said.
Mr. Karzai is also paid for allowing the C.I.A. and American Special Operations troops to rent a large compound outside the city — the former home of Mullah Mohammed Omar, the Taliban’s founder. The same compound is also the base of the Kandahar Strike Force. “He’s our landlord,” a senior American official said, speaking on the condition of anonymity.
Mr. Karzai also helps the C.I.A. communicate with and sometimes meet with Afghans loyal to the Taliban. Mr. Karzai’s role as a go-between between the Americans and the Taliban is now regarded as valuable by those who support working with Mr. Karzai, as the Obama administration is placing a greater focus on encouraging Taliban leaders to change sides.
A C.I.A. spokesman declined to comment for this article.
“No intelligence organization worth the name would ever entertain these kind of allegations,” said Paul Gimigliano, the spokesman.
Some American officials said that the allegations of Mr. Karzai’s role in the drug trade were not conclusive.
“There’s no proof of Ahmed Wali Karzai’s involvement in drug trafficking, certainly nothing that would stand up in court,” said one American official familiar with the intelligence. “And you can’t ignore what the Afghan government has done for American counterterrorism efforts.”
At the start of the Afghan war, just after the 9/11 terrorist attacks in the United States, American officials paid warlords with questionable backgrounds to help topple the Taliban and maintain order with relatively few American troops committed to fight in the country. But as the Taliban has become resurgent and the war has intensified, Americans have increasingly viewed a strong and credible central government as crucial to turning back the Taliban’s advances.
Now, with more American lives on the line, the relationship with Mr. Karzai is setting off anger and frustration among American military officers and other officials in the Obama administration. They say that Mr. Karzai’s suspected role in the drug trade, as well as what they describe as the mafialike way that he lords over southern Afghanistan, makes him a malevolent force.
These military and political officials say the evidence, though largely circumstantial, suggests strongly that Mr. Karzai has enriched himself by helping the illegal trade in poppy and opium to flourish. The assessment of these military and senior officials in the Obama administration dovetails with that of senior officials in the Bush administration.
“Hundreds of millions of dollars in drug money are flowing through the southern region, and nothing happens in southern Afghanistan without the regional leadership knowing about it,” a senior American military officer in Kabul said. Like most of the officials in this article, he spoke on the condition of anonymity because of the secrecy of the information.
“If it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, it’s probably a duck,” the American officer said of Mr. Karzai. “Our assumption is that he’s benefiting from the drug trade.”
American officials say that Afghanistan’s opium trade, the largest in the world, directly threatens the stability of the Afghan state, by providing a large percentage of the money the Taliban needs for its operations, and also by corrupting Afghan public officials to help the trade flourish.
The Obama administration has repeatedly vowed to crack down on the drug lords who are believed to permeate the highest levels of President Karzai’s administration. They have pressed him to move his brother out of southern Afghanistan, but he has so far refused to do so.
Other Western officials pointed to evidence that Ahmed Wali Karzai orchestrated the manufacture of hundreds of thousands of phony ballots for his brother’s re-election effort in August. He is also believed to have been responsible for setting up dozens of so-called ghost polling stations — existing only on paper — that were used to manufacture tens of thousands of phony ballots.
“The only way to clean up Chicago is to get rid of Capone,” General Flynn said.
In the interview in which he denied a role in the drug trade or taking money from the C.I.A., Ahmed Wali Karzai said he received regular payments from his brother, the president, for “expenses,” but said he did not know where the money came from. He has, among other things, introduced Americans to insurgents considering changing sides. And he has given the Americans intelligence, he said. But he said he was not compensated for that assistance.
“I don’t know anyone under the name of the C.I.A.,” Mr. Karzai said. “I have never received any money from any organization. I help, definitely. I help other Americans wherever I can. This is my duty as an Afghan.”
Mr. Karzai acknowledged that the C.I.A. and Special Operations troops stayed at Mullah Omar’s old compound. And he acknowledged that the Kandahar Strike Force was based there. But he said he had no involvement with them.
A former C.I.A. officer with experience in Afghanistan said the agency relied heavily on Ahmed Wali Karzai, and often based covert operatives at compounds he owned. Any connections Mr. Karzai might have had to the drug trade mattered little to C.I.A. officers focused on counterterrorism missions, the officer said.
“Virtually every significant Afghan figure has had brushes with the drug trade,” he said. “If you are looking for Mother Teresa, she doesn’t live in Afghanistan.”
The debate over Ahmed Wali Karzai, which began when President Obama took office in January, intensified in June, when the C.I.A.’s local paramilitary group, the Kandahar Strike Force, shot and killed Kandahar’s provincial police chief, Matiullah Qati, in a still-unexplained shootout at the office of a local prosecutor.
The circumstances surrounding Mr. Qati’s death remain shrouded in mystery. It is unclear, for instance, if any agency operatives were present — but officials say the firefight broke out when Mr. Qati tried to block the strike force from freeing the brother of a task force member who was being held in custody.
“Matiullah was in the wrong place at the wrong time,” Mr. Karzai said in the interview.
Counternarcotics officials have repeatedly expressed frustration over the unwillingness of senior policy makers in Washington to take action against Mr. Karzai — or even begin a serious investigation of the allegations against him. In fact, they say that while other Afghans accused of drug involvement are investigated and singled out for raids or even rendition to the United States, Mr. Karzai has seemed immune from similar scrutiny.
For years, first the Bush administration and then the Obama administration have said that the Taliban benefits from the drug trade, and the United States military has recently expanded its target list to include drug traffickers with ties to the insurgency. The military has generated a list of 50 top drug traffickers tied to the Taliban who can now be killed or captured.
Senior Afghan investigators say they know plenty about Mr. Karzai’s involvement in the drug business. In an interview in Kabul this year, a top former Afghan Interior Ministry official familiar with Afghan counternarcotics operations said that a major source of Mr. Karzai’s influence over the drug trade was his control over key bridges crossing the Helmand River on the route between the opium growing regions of Helmand Province and Kandahar.
The former Interior Ministry official said that Mr. Karzai was able to charge huge fees to drug traffickers to allow their drug-laden trucks to cross the bridges.
But the former officials said it was impossible for Afghan counternarcotics officials to investigate Mr. Karzai. “This government has become a factory for the production of Talibs because of corruption and injustice,” the former official said.
Some American counternarcotics officials have said they believe that Mr. Karzai has expanded his influence over the drug trade, thanks in part to American efforts to single out other drug lords.
In debriefing notes from Drug Enforcement Administration interviews in 2006 of Afghan informants obtained by The New York Times, one key informant said that Ahmed Wali Karzai had benefited from the American operation that lured Hajji Bashir Noorzai, a major Afghan drug lord during the time that the Taliban ruled Afghanistan, to New York in 2005. Mr. Noorzai was convicted on drug and conspiracy charges in New York in 2008, and was sentenced to life in prison this year.
Habibullah Jan, a local military commander and later a member of Parliament from Kandahar, told the D.E.A. in 2006 that Mr. Karzai had teamed with Haji Juma Khan to take over a portion of the Noorzai drug business after Mr. Noorzai’s arrest.

Friday, October 02, 2009

Speaking of U-Turns...

Pakistan. The country whose political leaders and religious zealots have been milking the cause of disputes such as Kashmir and Palestine in fiery speeches and televised debates on global fora. And now, the news... (the bit in bold is the real kicker!)



UN rights body defers vote on Gaza war crime report-- REUTERS

GENEVA (Reuters) - The United Nations put off taking action Friday on a U.N. report that accuses both Israel and Palestinian militants of war crimes in Gaza, after U.S. pressure aimed at getting the peace process back on track.
The move is an early result of the administration of U.S. President Barack Obama's engagement in the Human Rights Council, which Washington joined in June.
The forum had been expected to adopt a resolution that would have condemned Israel's failure to cooperate with a U.N. war crimes investigation led by Richard Goldstone and forwarded his report to the Security Council.
Goldstone recommended that the Security Council refer the matter to the International Criminal Court if the two sides fail to conduct credible domestic investigations within six months.
But Pakistan, speaking for Arab, Islamic and African sponsors of a resolution, formally asked the forum to defer action on their text until the next regular session in March.
This would "give more time for a broad-based and comprehensive consideration" of the report, Pakistan's envoy, Zamir Akram, told the 47-member-state forum.
A diplomatic source said the move had followed intense lobbying by the United States, which is seeking to restart peace negotiations in the Middle East. "There is agreement to defer given immense pressure from the United States," he told Reuters.
Hamas official Fawzi Barhoum accused Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas of trying to rescue Israel from seeing its leaders, who launched a military offensive on the Gaza Strip in December-January, brought before international courts.
"We insist that leaders of the occupation must be brought before international courts as war criminals and anyone who sought to prevent that from happening would be seen as partner in the crime," he said.
STILL ON THE AGENDA
Abbas's spokesman Nabil Abu Rdainah noted the Goldstone report had not been retracted and was still on the Human Rights Council's agenda. "It was only postponed."
A Palestinian official said the United States, European Union and Russia asked the Palestinian Authority for the postponement until the forum's next session in March.
Formal negotiations on Palestinian statehood have been suspended since the Gaza conflict.
The investigation by Goldstone, a former U.N. war crimes prosecutor, found that both the Israeli armed forces and Hamas militants committed war crimes during the December-January war.
A Palestinian rights group says 1,417 Palestinians, including 926 civilians, were killed in the Gaza war. Israel has said 709 Palestinian combatants were killed along with 295 civilians and 162 people whose status it was unable to clarify.
Israel lost 10 soldiers and 3 civilians in the offensive.
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said Thursday the United Nations would deal a "fatal blow" to prospects for Israeli-Palestinian peace if it endorsed the report -- which was more critical of Israel's military than of the Palestinians.
In a briefing to reporters after the Israeli cabinet met, Deputy Foreign Minister Danny Ayalon said Netanyahu's government was discussing the possibility of setting up an independent commission to look into the military's conduct of the Gaza war.Khraishi, asked whether the Palestinians were prepared to investigate war allegations, replied: "Everybody should respect its obligations. We should take responsibility."