Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies...

You know you’re going through a withdrawal phase when you start listening heavily to Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham aka Fleetwood Mac.

It was surreal. Rediscovering, clarifying and lecturing all over again. It was like that night in my room. But this was more impersonal, more forced, more of a struggle.

I knew that things would never be the same. We had drifted too far apart, too much had happened, too much had been said. I would never listen to those songs in the same way I had before. You know how when you’re in love, it seems as if every single lyric, every single verse is talking to you, and the song was meant for you.

Now, the songs have changed. From ‘Iris’ I’ve moved to ‘Outside’. She, however, doesn’t give a flying f**k. And it is at this point that you know that this can never go anywhere but hell.

I had dreams, I had plans. I wanted to do a lot of things. All of that had changed 45 days ago.

Now, I thank the lord that its all over. Now, I can go back to my dreams of world domination.

You did not deserve me, my brothers in arms...

When I start my car at 2:00am and prepare to pull out of the office parking lot, I don't know where I'm going that night (morning if you want to be puristic about it). The car drives itself, and in less than 15 minutes I'm on the same road again, the airport road.

The airport road is not an ordinary road. The lights of the Allama Iqbal International soothe me everytime I look at them. The gentle curves are very reassuring, and the fact that I can find traffic there at 3:00am makes me feel alive.
Chotay loogon kee choti choti khushiyan!

Dire Straits.
The stereo-cum-iRiver blasts 'Brothers in Arms' with the volume at 28.
"There's so many different worlds
So many different suns
We have just one world
But we live in different ones..."

Fast-forward a hurl down The Mall at an average speed of 100kmph in an 800cc car. Arrive at the milkshake shop. Drain two glasses of banana shake (the second one comes free with the big glass at Nukar 54) and its back on the road. Take a right on The Canal and turn the volume up to 29 (it maxes out at 31) and all four speakers blare:
"And have you any dreams you'd like to share?"
None of any great consequence I'm afraid.

It just haunts me. I don't know why, even after saying goodbye that night, it comes back to me. It's becoming very disconcerting now... so much so that I can't even listen to those songs without breaking down.

As the sun begins to com eup at about 4:15am, I turn towards the Main Boulevard, pull into my driveway at 5:00am, go upstairs and remove the songs from my iRiver.

Afterglow - INXS
Annie's song - Joh Denver
Everything - Lifehouse
I dare you to move - Switchfoot
Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls

And the tragedy is, I love these songs.